Hello brother,
It's been a while since I've wrote to you.
Things have changed a lot since your sudden departure. Your big sister got married. I got married. Our little brother got married as well. All of us are successful and hardworking IT professionals. We live comfortably and happily but you are always missed; terribly missed.
I cried at every wedding including my own - I couldn't help it as the wedding was short of one very important person; You.
For me, it seems that my loss is far greater than our other siblings.
I still recall going to the hospital and breaking my glasses carrying you to a car with two medical students who have tried saving you to no avail.
It was your fate to die and teach me the most painful lesson I will ever learn.
I still remember the doctors scrambling like the busiest bee colony trying to resuscitate you but to my shock, you were already gone.
I still feel as if I'm falling on the ground over and over again. Stuck in 2010 in an endless loop in front of the Emergency Room with a half paralysed body and a nervous system that has reached its limits and on the verge of fainting.
I still remember calling my friends and them coming over to the hospital in minutes to pick my broken pieces up before my parents arrive. I don't know what I would have done without them. And I'm still clueless how I survived and how I could lead my life without you.
I had such high hopes for you. I've planned a life where you have my back and I would arrogantly have yours.
I had plans for our little brother where you would teach him about life and how to be social and I would teach him how to be successful. I couldn't teach him what I hoped that he would learn from you. My only hope is that he's learned a few things from you in your brief time with him.
Rest assured; Our little brother has grown to be a fine man. He turned out to be more courageous, more manly, and more successful than I could ever be. I'm so proud of him and I know you would've been too.
Maybe one day I'd be over this loss but forgive me my brother for I am stuck in front of the ER, still falling, still helpless with nothing to do and neither the ability to ease the pain nor getting you back nor going back in time.
Forgive me for I can't forgive myself.
Signed:
Your stupid big brother.
